Three Things I Learned in 5785

On humble beginnings, smallness as a sign of growth, and the persistence of worth.

Last fall when I created my vision board for 5785, I included a blank note page for “Insights and Breakthroughs.”

Throughout the year, I keep a list of what I am learning. At the end of the year, I review the most important lessons that I hope to carry forward.

Here are three of my takeaways:

1. How it starts is less important than what you do with it.

At times, I’ve fretted over poor beginnings: Unfortunate first meetings. Wisdom teachers who opened doors for me, whom I eventually outgrew. Opportunities I may have joined for the wrong reasons.

Even when I’ve used those humble beginnings to create great things, their roots have sometimes felt troubling to me. Is it OK if the initial inspiration comes from an uncertain place?

Yes, I’ve learned this year. Wisdom and callings come in a lot of forms. Sometimes the imperfect messenger is exactly what I need at the time.

What matters more is what I did next. Did I pursue a calling that gave to others? Did I use it to contribute meaningfully? Did I grow a new part of myself? That is much more important that how things first got started.

The wisdom I’m bringing into 5786:

I don’t have to be ashamed of humble beginnings. What matters is what I do next.

2. Every new level begins with smallness.

At points during this year I felt particularly small, trying unfamiliar things, facing difficult terrain. Then I learned this Jewish idea: every new madrega (level) begins with katnut (smallness). Looking at it this way, a sense of smallness is actually a sign I’ve unlocked a new level.

It may feel as if I’ve shrunk; as though I’m repeating the same patterns. But like climbing the stairs in a skyscraper, the steps look the same but the altitude has changed. I feel I’m beginning again, but I am not in the same place. When I look back, I see how far I’ve come.

Feeling small is actually a sign of growth: I’m now in a bigger fishbowl, or taking on something brand-new. It may be uncomfortable, but doesn’t mean something has gone wrong.

The wisdom I’m bringing into 5786:

Feeling small in the face of challenges is not a sign of failure. It’s a signal that I’m ready to grow in new ways.

3. Worth persists.

I tend to think in terms of, “what have I done for you lately?” If I haven’t accomplished something grand recently, I assume my worth has fallen off along with my successes.

I know my worth is not actually dependent on my accomplishments at all; it is divinely given, just by being human.

But this year, I also discovered that my past accomplishments, large and small, have not vanished either. My prior efforts are still inspiring people even if I’ve begun to move on. Old kindnesses still speak for me, even when I’m the recipient of new ones. My previous words may still be rippling out with impacts I can’t even measure. And I grew through creating things that matter to me — even the things no one can see.

The wisdom I’m bringing into 5786:

As I move forward, I am enriched and strengthened by all I’ve learned and done in the past.

So, what did you learn in 5785? I’d love to hear.

The new year is coming with all its uncertainties, all its wishes and prayers, and we will carry our whole selves — our gifts as well as our anxieties, our accomplishments as well as our mistakes — into 5786 with us. We can both correct our errors and grow into our gifts as we prepare for the coming year.

May it be a year of growth, of peace, of connection, of safety, of blessing, of revealed good.

Shana tova u’metuka,

Evonne

P.S. Still looking for growth before Elul and into the new year? The Heroine’s Journal: A Jewish Mystical Journey of Growing Into Your Gifts is available as a free download on my website. Print your own copy here. And you can always find The Prophetess and the Grow Into Your Gifts Bat Mitzvah Package, as well as my recent writings, interviews and articles blending Jewish wisdom with personal growth and empowerment, on my website.

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